Owen's Birthday

So Sunday just gone, was Owen's 1st Birthday, and what a day.

We got up nice and early. My husband was singing happy birthday to Owen, and each time one of the kids came down and out to us downstairs he would yell "happy birthday Owen", to which the kids would yell the same.  I couldn't get as quite into it as they were, but I was just glad that they were having a nice day and not too sad.

Once we were all ready, we went up to the cemetry to visit and wish our boy happy birthday. We were armed with butterflies, teddies and a tigger balloon. The kids each handmade a birthday card for Owen, that we decided would stay here in his special keepsake box. They each did such a good job and wrote some beautiful and touching things inside.

We were blessed with such a gorgeous day. There was not a cloud in the sky, the sun was out and gorgeous and it was just right. Not too cold for winter, but not warm either. Just perfect (I think Owen might have had a hand in that).  :)

Here's a few pics

When we got there, Jay (my eldest) and Indi went up to see Owen. In this pic Indi is blowing Owen a kiss.

All our kids together (including my god son)

Me placeing some of his presents down with him.

Owen with his some of his presents..

We decided to have a butterfly release for Owen for his birthday. I have loved butterflies since I was a little girl, and I felt this was something we could share.

We went to pick up the butterflies the day before.

In this picture I have just handed each of the kids there butterfly to open and release.

We didn't get a picture of the kids releasing them, because they were just to fast. lol

We did get Indi releasing here (mainly because I was there to help her :)  )

she was so fascinated by it. She loves butterflies aswell.











The butterfly I released, then flew to a near by plant and stayed there for a while. When I went over to it, it still stayed, so I put my finger out under it, and it sat on my finger for a while, before then flying off.. It was so so beautiful. Maybe my baby boy was there with us. I really hope so.

In the afternoon, I had asked our family and very close friends to come to a get together in the park down the street. Just an afternoon tea. It was beautiful. There was a playground for all the kids to play in and run around and be crazy like kids do, like Owen would have wanted to do also.

I had arranged to get a mixture of blue balloons for each of the children that were there, so they could each release a balloon for Owen.

We went out to an open area of the park, I gave all the kids a balloon each. I counted to 3, we all yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY OWEN" and then the balloons were released.

Such a beautiful day. The only thing that could have made it better would to have had our boy with us in our arms.

Happy Birthday baby boy. We miss you so much everyday, but I know you couldn't stay with us as much as it hurts.
I hope you are looking over us and proud of what we have done.
I hope you had a great birthday and had a big party celebrating with the other angels in heaven.

Love you forever and always.

Until the day we meet again and I can hold you in my arms..
Mummy xxxxx

Finally.... We made a decision...

Finally.. finally, I have made a decision for Owen's first birthday.

We are going to go up to visit Owen mid morning. I have organised to buy some butterflies and will pick them up on Saturday at some stage. Then sunday morning we will head up to the cemetry and wish his a happy 1st birthday and release the butterflies.

Then in the afternoon, we are going to have an afternoon tea at the park (weather permitting, hopefully it will be a beautiful day). We are just having our families and closest friends. The kids can play and run a muck on all the swings, there will be lollies and savoury, and most importantly.... A cake..  I am also organising balloons (I am thinking blue, maybe another colour too.. not sure), and we will release them. I'm hoping to take lots of photo's of the day, and will put them in Owen's photo album.

I just want the day to be fun for the kids.. It's going to be hard enough to get thru, and they remember there baby brother so fondly.

My son is already making things for him. He came home from school yesterday and showed me what he has been making.. He made him a butterfly and wrote 'ben 10' on it (such a boy).. It's green and so him. He wants to give it to Owen... He is so proud of himself, and so am I. I'm so proud of them all. They talk about him when they want. I LOVE it.

One of the things making me more sad at the moment, is I was so scared of this day coming and knew I wanted to do something, but just couldn't make up my mind. Suddenly this week I realised the date. Too late to do invitations (I wanted to do personal one from my computer) but have left it to late. Add to that, the program I usually use, I can't use on this computer (i'm pretty sure). So I have had to contact people by phone or email. Not what I had planned...

So now, it's just a matter of getting to next sunday and making it thru.

It's getting closer

As Owen's birthday draws nearer and nearer, I find myself slightly all over the place. I can't make decisions, I am forgetting things worse then before, My emotional state is all ove rthe place. One minute I am smiling, the next I am cranky, crying, not wanting to be around people. It just doesn't seem to be ending..

I know it's probably a combination of Owen's birthday (god I miss him) and the pregnancy hormones.

We have decided to have a little afternoon tea with family and close friends. I am going to get a cake for Owen and just have some nibblies. For any children that will be here I am going to get some balloons for them to release for Owen.

In the morning we are going to go and visit where Owen rests, I am organising to get some butterflies. As a family, we will all release a butterfly each and spend some time with him.

I hope he will be with us at some stage of the day, if he can't be with us all day. And I hope he knows how much we love him and miss him...