Beautiful Dreaming

I had THE most beautiful dream last night, and I just wanted to share. 

I dreamt that I was in labour and hubby and my midwife were there. I was so so quiet and just going thru my surges and just LOVING being in labour and knowing I would be meeting our flitterbub soon. 

Everything was so beautiful and peaceful (we were outside, not sure why). All of a sudden we decide to move somewhere else so I can birth bubby into the world. 

As we were walking I started getting the urge to push. After pushing and not liking it last time (I did hypnobirthing, and pushing is not what I learnt), I remembered to just 'breathe the baby down'. So we are walking and I am breathing bub down (not sure how this would happen IRL, but hey, it's my dream.. haha). As I'm walking my midwife says, "Melissa, put your hands down and receive your baby". 

So I did, and there was our baby. I pulled baby up to my chest, and had a cuddle. So beautiful. Bubby was healthy, in my arms, breathing and just gorgeous.

I checked to see what it was (we haven't found out), and we had a girl. I even got her name. She was so so sooooo beautiful..

Such a lovely way to wake up.

Dreaming of Owen and Lola

Every night, when I go to be and close my eyes. I see our beautiful baby boy Owen. I see him all the time. Sometimes it's visions of me during my pregnancy. More often than not it's visions of my labour and Owen's birth. Me holding him and crying. Just looking at him and how beautiful he is. I usually wake up with tears in my eyes.

But last night was different. I eventually got to bed after midnight, and it took me a long time to fall asleep, but when I did I had a beautiful dream. I dreamt of a little boy and girl playing in a beautiful big field with long grass and scattered daisies. It was so beautiful, they were just running around chasing each other and having fun.

After a while I saw two women sitting on a bench watching their children play. One of the women was me, and the other was my beautiful friend of mine who also lost her baby girl, Kristalee. That little boy and girl that I saw playing was our babies, Owen and Lola. Only they were a little older probably around 2 and running around together having the best time.

It was so beauitiful but wierd all at the same time. It was like we were there with them, but were just watching them, sitting with each other.

I wanted to write this and hopefully kristalee, you see this and I hope it's ok that I said it. I don't want you to be sad, but I had to get it down. I really like to believe that they are together playing and watching out for both of us.

I don't know where the dream came from, but I'm so glad I had it. It was the first one I had of Owen since he was taken away from us that wasn't of my labour, birth or clouded by misunderstanding and doubt. It was kind of like it was a glimpse to let me know that he is ok.... they are ok.... they are together....

I don't even know if I am making any sense. It's so hard to remember everything, and get it down between the tears. But I just had to.

xxxxxxx