Beautiful Dreaming

I had THE most beautiful dream last night, and I just wanted to share. 

I dreamt that I was in labour and hubby and my midwife were there. I was so so quiet and just going thru my surges and just LOVING being in labour and knowing I would be meeting our flitterbub soon. 

Everything was so beautiful and peaceful (we were outside, not sure why). All of a sudden we decide to move somewhere else so I can birth bubby into the world. 

As we were walking I started getting the urge to push. After pushing and not liking it last time (I did hypnobirthing, and pushing is not what I learnt), I remembered to just 'breathe the baby down'. So we are walking and I am breathing bub down (not sure how this would happen IRL, but hey, it's my dream.. haha). As I'm walking my midwife says, "Melissa, put your hands down and receive your baby". 

So I did, and there was our baby. I pulled baby up to my chest, and had a cuddle. So beautiful. Bubby was healthy, in my arms, breathing and just gorgeous.

I checked to see what it was (we haven't found out), and we had a girl. I even got her name. She was so so sooooo beautiful..

Such a lovely way to wake up.

22wks and choices.

Here we are. Flitterbub and I at about 22ish weeks.

I had the opportunity to go out with girlfriends to an early movie and dinner on Sunday, so thought while I was all dressed up to get a picture.

I'm having a freak out week. I'm worried.. There has been alot of stress in our life and I hope that baby is ok. Infact if I am being perfectly honest, this last year has been the absolute WORST of my life. What could go wrong did go wrong. I only hope that we can go up from here. That's the way it's suppose to go isn't it?

 Bub is still kicking and moving and doing everything normally. So I know it's ok, but I can't help but worry.

I've been asked by one of my lovely friends, if Owen's birth has changed the way we want to birth this bub?

I have to say for me, no not really. If I could, I would do everything the way I wanted to last time. My husband on the other hand is worried/afraid. And I can totally see why he would be. But for me, being at home is where I am comfortable. But, we came to a compromise that we are both happy with. So we are happy. The plan will be to labour at home as long as possible and then go to hospital. The beauty of having our independen midwife is that this is good for us and she will be with us every step of the way, making sure everything is ok. I mean, afterall, this is what most women want and do anyway, so why should we have to do things differently.

The only thing that will be really different is the option to go beyond 42wks. That will not happen. I think we would freak out abit as well as those around us. This is mainly the reason why no one knows my actual EDD. I don't need the extra stress and nuisance of constant nagging of "have you had that baby yet" etc etc.. I'm sure alot know what I am talking about. The only people who know our EDD is us, our midwife and the hospital.

Some might be wondering if I will be going to the same hospital as where Owen was born. Simple answer. I'm not sure. I have left my options open and am booked in there, but I am also booked into another closer hospital as well. It's mainly going to come down to making the decision at the time. At this point in time. I'm not sure that I will be able to go back there. It's hard enough to go for the occasional appointments that we have. Luckily for me, both hospitals are happy for me to see my midwife at home for all of my pre natal care and I see them later in the pregnancy.

happy happy happy.. :)