Somedays I am ok and happy, other days I am so down and can't really pin point an exact 'reason' its just that feeling. When I'm asked "whats wrong", I just shrug.
I always said that we would do something for Owen's birthday, but the closer it's getting, the harder it's getting. Harder to get thru the days. Harder to make a decision of what to do.
I know I don't "have" to do something. But I want to. I just can't decide on what. I also feel like if I don't acknowledge his birthday and him, then it's letting other peopl do this aswell. He is still my son, even though he can't be seen.
The only thing I have made my mind up to do to is to run a Teddy Bear Drive.
When Owen was born, because it was all so quick, we had nothing with us. We never expected that our baby would never be coming home with us. When in hospital we were given a little teddy bear. I have photos of Owen cuddling his bear and it was all we had until someone came in. I will be forever greatful for the people who run this. Owen slept with the teddy when he wasn't in my arms. And then when we had to say goodbye and leave him, his teddy and his blanket is all I had. I slept with both for months and months.
So, in memory of Owen I am putting out there. If anyone would like to donate (it doesn't matter how much), for every $20 raised a bear will be donated in Owen's name to another family who will go thru loosing a child.
Here is Owen's Memorial page
There are 6 babies stillborn everyday in Australia, and if this is all I can do for now, then I will do my best. I do plan to volunteer or something to help families soon.
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