It's a cruel world

My friends had a baby yesterday. And while I am happy for them. I still feel like I have been kicked in the guts.

They have what I should have had. They are holding there baby safely and healthy in there arms. They will have there baby at Christmas. My arms are empty. My heart is empty. I feel sad, hurt, pissed off.

They have what I so desperately want and should have had and it hurts.