I made another small step today.
I went (with my husband and Indianna) to pick up my 3 kids from school. It's the first time I have been there since before Owen was born. My husband had taken over taking the kids to and from school before I had Owen to give me a little break (greatly appreciated at 43wks pregnant).
But today. I did it. I went to school. I picked up my kids.
I cried as we walked up to the school and had to stop and take some deep breathes, but I did it.
Some people might think whats the big deal. Well to me it was a big deal. My youngest son started Prep this year, and all year every morning and every afternoon when I have gone to school I was pregnant. I met mums in my son's class and they all have known me as being pregnant and have been there for just about my whole pregnancy. When Owen was born, some of the mums even came to the funeral to support us, and made us meals to help out. They even offered to get the kids for us to and from school.
So as you can see, Owen was a big part of "school". Walking in there today without him, well it was another kick in the guts (I was just talking a friend about "kicks in the guts" today, and she was right. they never stop).
One small step. But I did it, with help, but I did it all the same. Tomorrow I will take another small step and do it again.
I'm proud of you Mel. It may seem like a small step to others but I see what a huge one it w for you and your family. Well done xx
ReplyDeleteFor me going to places for the first time was so very difficult. In fact there is a restaurant that we visitied frequently that we have not been back to since losing our girls. It is just too hard for me. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Chelle.xxxxx
ReplyDeleteTina, thats exactly how I feel.. I went again today, only by myself with Indi this time, and I cried again. Everything at school reminds me of Owen. The people, the kids, the school.. everything. All year when I have gone to school I have been pregnant.. and now... now I don't have my baby..
Well done Mel, it's a big achievement. I can only imagine how hard that would have been. I think your an amazing mother.
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand what a huge step that was for you sweetheart. I am proud of you for doing it, I bet the kids were really happy to see you there at the end of the day. Love to you always xoxo
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I did the school pick up. It was excruciatingly painful. Well done. Each time I did it, it got the tiniest bit easier, I hope the same holds true for you.
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