Today Owen would have been 6 weeks old. 6 weeks tonight at exactly 11.42pm since my baby boy made his way into this world in a way that we didn't understand. It's devastating.
6wks, is suppose to be that "magic number" in which, you have your check up to make sure everything is ok with your uterus and 'down there'. It's suppose to be the week that Owen should have been having his needles and being weighed and checked out etc etc.
Instead I sit here with empty arms looking at his things and wondering how in the bloody hell this happened. For which I may very well never have the answers for.
But no matter what, he was loved and is loved and will be for the rest of our days..
Love to you now and always. I'm so sorry and wish it was different. It just plain fucking sucks. Thinking of you xxx
ReplyDeleteHello, I found your blog a couple of days ago and have been reading Owen's story right from the start. I am so very, very sorry that he is not in his mama's arms right this minute. He should be. Reading your blog has been a powerful and moving experience for me. My little girl, Emma, was stillborn on 14th October 2008. She was our third child - we planned for her to be born by hba2c, a water birth. It was a perfectly beautiful labour - we transferred at the end of labour because she had turned posterior and we thought she might need help to be born. We arrived at the hospital and she had a strong heartbeat. Seven minutes later she was born with no breath and no heartbeat. I just wanted to tell you this, because I know that when Emma was born I NEEDED connections to people who's experiences were similar to my own.
ReplyDeleteAlmost everything I have read here made me say "yes" - I recognise all the emotions. I wanted to send you some love and empathy and say that I'll be here reading.